Rants and Ramblings

5 TIPS for Dating a Big Girl

I’ve spent my entire life as a big girl (fat girl, bbw, goddess, plus size, full-figured, fluffy or whatever you want to call it) and my dating life was never boring. It was an adventure with plenty of ups and downs and lessons learned. So looking back, I came up with 5 tips for dating a big girl that I found to be most helpful and that I wish some of the guys that I dated knew.

Dating a big girl

Tip # 1: If we’re going out to eat, let me give input on the restaurant.

Before I go to any restaurant, I always check it out on Yelp. Not to look at their menu, but to scour the background make sure the chairs are not flimsy, make sure the chairs don’t have the stupid arms that dig into my thighs, that they don’t have booth only seating, and that they don’t have the tall chairs that my stubby legs have to climb up on. It’s going to make me uncomfortable knowing I’m going to a surprise restaurant where I haven’t run intel on yet. So let me give my input. Let me help guide you. Or….make sure you take those things into consideration when planning.


Tip # 2: Run activities by me first.

My ass is not going hiking on a first date. Yeah, there are some active big girls out there who would love nothing more than to hike up a mountain side with you at 7am on a Saturday but for me…unless we’re going swimming… count me out. Laser tag sounds fun but when you can’t fit the vest over your boobs or you’re over the weight limit for the zip line…it kind of ruins the fun.  Find out what I love and let’s negotiate what we’re going to do.


Tip # 3: Don’t treat me as a fetish.

If our whole conversation is going to revolve around sex and that is your only goal – let me know up front. Be real with me. Some girls are cool with just having random booty calls but some of us aren’t. Our booty is precious and plentiful and not to be wasted on those not worthy or those who are only interested in one aspect of us. So if you’re just interviewing me for 2am booty calls, let me know so you can view other candidates. However, play your cards right, get to know me, and you may just cross the threshold of my bedroom door.


Tip # 4: Respect my boundaries.

This is a general tip that applies to everyone. No means no. A lot of guys I’ve dated…and I’ve dated my fair share…like big girls because they think they have low self-esteem, that they are easy, or that the big girl should be happy a cute guy is into her. Man….have several seats ‘cause I ain’t the one. Respect my boundaries and respect us. Some women do have confidence issues, but there are many of us that are confident in our skin, confident in who we are, and you will get cussed smooth out if you cross the line. We aren’t doormats so don’t even think about treating us like one.


Tip # 5. Know how to get down in the bedroom.

Making love to a big girl is a mind blowing, rocket launching, tidal wave of pleasure. When it’s time to go to the bedroom, get creative. While I may not be the ideal body type for picking up and going at it against a wall… don’t just stick to missionary. There are so many positions we can do to enhance pleasure. Ask me what I want, where I want it, and how I want it. Let’s have fun and experiment. And just so you know – we won’t crush you if we’re on top, pillows always make things more comfortable and feel free to move my fat out the way lol.


Overall treat me with respect and dignity. Learn about my likes and build the date around that. And if you make it to the bedroom, let’s go crazy.


So get out there….date a big girl! You’ll have a blast.

Share This:

19 thoughts on “5 TIPS for Dating a Big Girl

  1. This is great – I hope these messages get spread loud and proud to all the guys out there! Some of them totally apply to any girl during dating (and beyond?) as well – I can totally relate to the run activities by me first one. I’m pretty fussy…and there are things I definitely prefer to not have to do!

  2. You nailed this post! These are great tips for Any girl tbh and every girl deserves respect from a man! If they can’t show you that then they’re not worth your time!


  3. This post is great and expresses so much self confidence and understanding about who you are. Everyone is deserving of respect no matter their shape and when guys do not respect, that is awful.

  4. Your post is a witty one. Indeed every girl should be respected and boys should learn that not everyone who are up to dating are up just for sex.

  5. You’re shared some great tips. You definitely kept me engaged throughout your entire blog post. Continue to embrace dating and have fun while respecting yourself and ensuring others do the same.

  6. Thank you SO much. This real POV is what’s up. I’m a curvy girl myself and I can’t tell you how many guys are out there interviewing for the next 2am booty call. No thanks, just move on along! Great post.

  7. Omg I totally love these tips! Hell I want you to ask my opinion on the restaurant and for dates. It’s just somethings I don’t wanna do! Lol

  8. I really like your keep-it-real type of posts. I enjoyed reading it. Not many articles share those tips. I am sure many guys will learn from this article and benefit from it.

  9. I know exactly what you mean about uncomfortable restaurant chairs!
    Regarding guys dating girls whom they assume to lack cinfidence, that is a shame, and sad – the guys continue to make the person feel like crap so that they can cling on to them.

  10. These sound like great tips. I hope you are always treated with respect.
    I would want to know about the restaurant too. I’m not terribly picky, but I don’t like seafood so if it’s a seafood place, I need to know that there is something I can find to eat.

  11. Ok First off the “run activities by me first” YASSS!!! LOL 100%!!! SO happy somebody finally said it! Like you cannot just choose, “lets go for a hike” …ummmmm ok no. Like I am not hiking at any point, especially not on a date. My workout gear is not even cute (its big t-shirt and old shorts), like no. bye! haha I love this post because it’s so real! ps. I am with you on the restaurant too!!! ugh I need to see the menuuuuuu!!

Leave a Reply