I’ve spent my entire life as a big girl (fat girl, bbw, goddess, plus size, full-figured, fluffy or whatever you want to call it) and my dating life was never boring. It was an adventure with plenty of ups and downs and lessons learned. So looking back, I came up with 5 tips for dating a big girl that I found to be most helpful and that I wish some of the guys that I dated knew.
Tip # 1: If we’re going out to eat, let me give input on the restaurant.
Before I go to any restaurant, I always check it out on Yelp. Not to look at their menu, but to scour the background make sure the chairs are not flimsy, make sure the chairs don’t have the stupid arms that dig into my thighs, that they don’t have booth only seating, and that they don’t have the tall chairs that my stubby legs have to climb up on. It’s going to make me uncomfortable knowing I’m going to a surprise restaurant where I haven’t run intel on yet. So let me give my input. Let me help guide you. Or….make sure you take those things into consideration when planning.
Tip # 2: Run activities by me first.
My ass is not going hiking on a first date. Yeah, there are some active big girls out there who would love nothing more than to hike up a mountain side with you at 7am on a Saturday but for me…unless we’re going swimming… count me out. Laser tag sounds fun but when you can’t fit the vest over your boobs or you’re over the weight limit for the zip line…it kind of ruins the fun. Find out what I love and let’s negotiate what we’re going to do.
Tip # 3: Don’t treat me as a fetish.
If our whole conversation is going to revolve around sex and that is your only goal – let me know up front. Be real with me. Some girls are cool with just having random booty calls but some of us aren’t. Our booty is precious and plentiful and not to be wasted on those not worthy or those who are only interested in one aspect of us. So if you’re just interviewing me for 2am booty calls, let me know so you can view other candidates. However, play your cards right, get to know me, and you may just cross the threshold of my bedroom door.
Tip # 4: Respect my boundaries.
This is a general tip that applies to everyone. No means no. A lot of guys I’ve dated…and I’ve dated my fair share…like big girls because they think they have low self-esteem, that they are easy, or that the big girl should be happy a cute guy is into her. Man….have several seats ‘cause I ain’t the one. Respect my boundaries and respect us. Some women do have confidence issues, but there are many of us that are confident in our skin, confident in who we are, and you will get cussed smooth out if you cross the line. We aren’t doormats so don’t even think about treating us like one.
Tip # 5. Know how to get down in the bedroom.
Making love to a big girl is a mind blowing, rocket launching, tidal wave of pleasure. When it’s time to go to the bedroom, get creative. While I may not be the ideal body type for picking up and going at it against a wall… don’t just stick to missionary. There are so many positions we can do to enhance pleasure. Ask me what I want, where I want it, and how I want it. Let’s have fun and experiment. And just so you know – we won’t crush you if we’re on top, pillows always make things more comfortable and feel free to move my fat out the way lol.
Overall treat me with respect and dignity. Learn about my likes and build the date around that. And if you make it to the bedroom, let’s go crazy.
So get out there….date a big girl! You’ll have a blast.