Today was the first day of meeting one on one with for my first personal training session. The trainer and I have known each other on Facebook for years, and when she graduated with her degree in exercise physiology and began her personal training business – I jumped at her offer to train me. I need help with this journey and I’m smart enough now to know to accept help when it comes knocking. Being my size I am always met with offers regarding weight loss products or personal training but I usually turn them down for two reasons: 1 – There is no quick weight loss pill to lose 300 pounds….and 2 – it’s hard to find someone who has been morbidly obese and who knows firsthand my day-to-day struggles. Plus I was arrogant and thought I could do it on my own.
Amanda knew this, and that’s why I said yes.
Our first session was held in a beautiful park and greenway not far from my home. I won’t lie when I said my heart was beating furiously even before I got out the car. I was terrified. My body has gotten to the point where simple tasks such as walking a few yards leaves me out of breath. But this was my time to change. If I really love my body, I have to take care of it so it can continue to take care of me.
We introduced ourselves, yet being Facebook friends for years, it felt like we already knew each other. I knew her background, her fiancée, her journey with her 100+ pound weight loss – and she’s watched my struggles of weight loss then weight gain and even my marriage to my husband with the same weight issues. I’ve always admired her and felt a little star struck when we finally spoke. This was her. She did it. She’s walked this path. She’s maintained a weight loss. Now she was going to guide me as well.
We started with a walk to our secluded work out area. Through gravel, over a bridge, and as we walked around a small pond, my enthusiasm faded quickly. We haven’t even started the workout yet and I was ready to tap out. I wanted to push myself but I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it if I didn’t slow down. She understood and encouraged me to go at my pace. We took it slower. One step at a time. I felt a small victory after I walked past each bench that decorated the walkway.
I could do it, just a little bit further…
She chose an area that was secluded enough for us to workout in peace but also had a bench where I could rest when I was too overwhelmed. I picked up my speed as I saw the bench waiting – calling to me – and happily sat down when I got within reaching distance.
“How did I get this bad?” ran through my mind but was also countered with “You’re taking charge, I’m proud of you”.
We started with modified jumping jacks and slowly moved from lower body to upper body workouts. Everything that I could do at home and sitting down if I need be. I had to sit multiple times, every few reps, but I pushed through.
Mosquitos swarmed around me – the perks of being at a park – and I was certain I would end the session with malaria or zika….but I pushed through.
I felt the muscle fatigue even during the workout….no need for delayed muscle soreness that most people experience the next day. I could feel it now…..but I pushed through.
Then….as I was stretching….I was overcome with a feeling of nausea and began to panic. Crap. Her first client and I’m going to die. Right here. Dammit. I stumbled back to the bench and tried to calm my anxiety that was coupling in with the nausea. She calmly explained what was happening to me. Her calmness calmed me down. Oh ….sexy part…I started coughing…..which led me to pass gas as I spit out phlegm….sexy right? If she were a man, I would so not be getting laid. But, I didn’t care….I seriously thought I was going to die….but I didn’t and before she dialed 9-1-1 I started to calm down. Things started coming back into the focus. I was returning to my normal self.
When she saw I was ok, we laughed. I rested until I was fully recovered.
Then, the session was over. My first personal training session was done….sure I felt like I was going to die for about 2 minutes….but I made it. I was overcome with enthusiasm again. As we walked back to the car, we laughed about the incident as she checked on me repeatedly. We talked about our love for animals. We talked about the stares that people give to those who are severely overweight. The look of disgust. She knew it all to well. We bonded.
She gave me a few assignments to complete until our next meeting and I sat in the car as she left and meditated for a moment. In the past, I would cry or feel ashamed that I couldn’t do what others could. This time, I focused on the positive. I am making changes without hating my body. I am making changes for me. I am making lifestyle changes. I’m making strides for improved health. I love my body and I’m finally starting to take care of it after a lifetime of abuse.
I couldn’t be more proud of myself…and I can’t wait until my next session.